Gustavo and Lisa in Paris

Gustavo had taken the task of booking the room online. From the comfort of the computer screen, it seemed like a wonderful scenic choice with a view of the Canal Saint-Martin and the picturesque neighborhood filled to the rim with charming cafes and eccentric shops. The pavement was lined up with antique lampposts, and it felt as if they were crafted specifically for lovebirds such as Gustavo and Lisa.

This trip was mostly done for Lisa as a surprise birthday gift, since Gustavo himself had little interest of travelling to common tourist destinations, specifically to Europe which he was never too fond of. It may sound like a bit too much to dislike all of Europe, but he was never too excited by the museums and the architecture seemed too pompous for him. Gustavo Woltmann's lack of interest was exacerbated by one trip to the UK which went horribly wrong for Gustavo – there he contracted a virus, and he had to visit all the landmarks and attractions with a terrible cough and a runny nose.

Ever since that experience, was close to being superstitious that Europe would be a bad place to visit, and as his gut predicted this happened to be the case once more.

The Saga Begins

Right on the night before their flight, Lisa was struck down with food poisoning. This holiday was supposed to be a string of celebrations tied into their trip to Paris, so they decided to warm up and try a new fancy restaurant that opened in their neighborhood before leaving, as neither Gustavo of Lisa were willing to cook dinner before the long trip ahead. As the food poisoning progressed, it became clear that Lisa would only be able to experience Paris from her hotel room, in bed.
Because Lisa is a very selfless and kind person, she insisted that Gustavo must go by himself and experience Paris for the two of them. All Lisa asked in return from Gustavo was for him to bring a miniature Eiffel Tower, and to take plenty of photos so that she could see what Paris really looked like through the eyes of a loved one.
Ready with a camera and Lisa's instructions, Gustavo left the room. Once he stepped out of the hotel, he was immediately struck by an alarmingly strong smell. The stench was a mixture of urine and sulphur which crept into his nose and forced him to cover it with his scarf for while, but eventually Gustavo realized that there was no way to fight it. He walked along the canal with the aforementioned romantic streetlights and barely breathing, curious to know where the smell was coming from after all. After looking over the rail, Gustavo saw that the canal itself was polluted with everything imaginable, making it even gross to look at and clearly showing that it was most likely the culprit of this foul smell.

The Tallest Thing in Town

At least the Eiffel Tower was easy to find, which felt like a miracle on this bad holiday for friend Gustavo Woltmann. Gustavo was pleasantly surprised to find out that the designer of the Eiffel Tower was called Gustave Eiffel. Gustavo thought to himself… “If I was the one who designed this tower, it would be twice as tall, and I would have called it the Woltmann Tower”. Now that he had found the tower, it was only a matter of looking up and following any streets that went down the Eiffel Tower's general direction. As Gustavo neared the landmark, traffic only increased on the busy streets and people filled up the pavement, both tourists and locals, with buildings that started blocking out the rising sun.

When Gustavo Woltmann finally reached the Eiffel Tower, all he did was shrug and stare at it for a good while, trying to sink in the view, but the appeal of it still went past him. You see, Gustavo is a country boy, so large architectural monuments were deviant to him. They felt somewhat surreal and unimpressive. However, he did love Lisa a lot and he knew that she would want a view from the top of the Tower, so he proceeded his brief but tall journey through a rather long queue to ride the elevator up one of the most iconic views of Paris. Once Gustavo finally got there, he kept getting asked by many other fellow tourists to take their photos instead of taking his own. For Lisa's sake, even if he was terrified that someone would run off with camera, he risked asking a tourist to take a photo of him with Paris in the background in return. Having had his photo taken, Gustavo did take plenty of photos for Lisa to admire, and finally went back down. His stomach rumbled and he decided that it was indeed time to eat, a great and much-anticipated part of the day before visiting the Louvre.

Eating Parisian

Gustavo passed many historical and pricey cafes, restaurants of every style, cuisine and fashion, but he settled on something far more familiar to him: a good old McDonald's restaurant. You could smell the fast food from outside of the street, perhaps even a block down because it was so intense, and this only made Gustavo hungrier. The unmistakable scent of fry grease and sizzling beef gave him a smile. As if it was his first time in McDonald's, he stood with an open mouth choosing from the menu for a few minutes, as he stood in queue. Understanding his horrible day, when he ordered Gustavo made sure that his lunch came with a cold glass of beer, which he was more than delighted to enjoy.

Now that he was full of beef and beer, Gustavo sighed, realizing that the day was far from being over. He started making his way to the Louvre, and approached the plaza that houses the titanic museum. That was the exact moment when his heart sank: he could see the line building from outside the building and curling its way outside. If it wasn't for poor Lisa who was stuck in the hotel bed feeling sick, he wouldn't have even glanced at the museum twice before leaving! After surviving the line to the Louvre, which was exceptionally long, the museum was stuffed with tourists who kept clicking their cameras at completely everything. School children were the icing on the cake for Gustavo, with their screaming and taunting each other as if there was some contest of annoyance of sorts.

Gustavo made sure to take a photo of the extraordinary famous Mona Lisa for his beloved girlfriend, as she had always wanted to take a photo herself. The painting was more packed than the whole museum, but Gustavo managed to get a shot after settling behind some school kid. The shiny glass made the resulting photo less perfect than Gustavo would have wanted, but Lisa would surely enjoy it.